Kunoichi
by Kaiser Wilhelm
Summary: "Why does it have to be like this?" Tenten cupped her breasts in her hands. "Do these really make me so different! Is this all I am to this village? Just a piece of meat with no worth beyond," she shuddered to say it, "Sex appeal! I don't want to do this anymore. Maybe I'm not fit to be a jounin…"


***So, this is based off of a fic I read a while back, and I can't remember the name of it, but it involved Tenten hating the fact that she was expected to be able to seduce an enemy. I've always wanted to write something Tenten-centric since she doesn't get enough screen time or any character development whatsoever. She and Shino are the two most neglected characters in the series.**

 **Kunoichi**

Tenten walked briskly to the training area Team Gai always met in. She did not want to think about the last two hours. She wanted to forget everything she was told. Everything she was _taught_. She just wanted to leave it behind and never think about it again, but alas, she had to return to the same place the very next night for another lesson in "being a kunoichi."

She had to admit she was in better shape than when the classes first started. After that first day, she had promptly left the room once she was dismissed, found the nearest bathroom, and vomited. That day, she learned never to eat before these classes.

She started running towards the training field hoping to every deity she could think of that her team hadn't left. She knew Neji and Lee always over-trained, and Gai-sensei was definitely not discouraging them. Her team had to be there. They _had_ to. She needed some sense of normalcy!

She had never been so relieved when she saw her team still working. They seemed to be winding down, but that didn't stop her. She nearly cried with joy when she heard Gai-sensei's booming voice: "Well if it isn't my third youthful student!"

"Student" he called her. Not kunoichi. Student.

Lee ran over and nearly tackled her in a bear hug. "Tenten! It has been far too long since we have trained together. The battlefield is not the same without you, my friend!"

Lee would have said the exact same words to Neji if their places were reversed, though she was almost certain that Neji would have punched Lee in the face before the bear hug even started.

The genius himself was busy with his own katas. Katas that she had seen a million times, which Neji still practiced just to be sure. He really didn't need to. He could do these katas in his sleep. She also knew his chakra well enough to know that he did not have his Byakugan active, but he didn't bother turning around as he greeted her. "Hey, Ten. It's been a while. You haven't been around to throw pointy things at me, and you're the only weapons-specialist in Konoha that can give me a challenge," he took a deep breath as he finished his kata. "I'm probably pretty rusty with my blind-spot, so I could use some assistance from you and your 'everything-but-the-kitchen-sink' scroll."

Tenten found herself close to breaking. _"He needs you to help him train."_

Finally Neji turned to face her before frowning immediately. "Ten, why is your hair down?"

They had told her that letting down one's hair was an old standby when it came to seduction. They had told her that she'd be better off with her hair in _one_ bun, since she would be able to let down her hair in one smooth "sensual" motion, rather than two. Tenten froze at the memory, feeling sick.

Then Neji finished the sentence: "You should probably tie it back somehow. Leaving it down can't be practical."

That was it for her. She couldn't stop laughing. No comment of "You look nice with it down" or "You should wear it down more often." Nothing that called her out on her looks. Just "Leaving it down can't be practical."

Neji found it strange when Tenten started laughing, but when she fell to her knees and started crying, he rushed to her side along with the rest of her team.

Gai-sensei panicked. Tenten only cried over matters of life and death. Could it be that someone died?

Lee was equally frantic, asking question after question without giving her a chance to respond. "Tenten! Are you ok? Did something happen? Is someone hurt? Is someone dead? Was it a family member? Is it someone we know?"

Neji's eyes were wide and confused. He grabbed her shoulders, shaking her in an attempt to snap her out of it. When that didn't work, he found himself asking, "What the hell happened to get you in this state?"

Tenten grabbed Neji and Lee, pulling them close as she alternated between laughing and sobbing. The only sentence she managed to put together in her hysteria was, "I love you guys so much."

Fifteen minutes later found all of Team Gai huddled around a tree. Tenten had her back to the trunk. Neji was seated to her left, sitting close enough that their legs touched. He was never a very "huggie" person, so any type of physical contact meant far more than it appeared. Lee was on her other side. She'd never relinquished her hold on the taijutsu-specialist, and he was fine with that even if it was very uncomfortable, and he could feel his legs falling asleep. Gai-sensei crouched down in front of her. His normally joyful and flamboyant countenance was gone, replaced with a look of serious concern for his student. They were all waiting for her to make the first move, and she knew that none of them would leave her side until they found out what was going on.

She sighed once more before beginning to explain her thoughts. "You guys know how I've been trying to make it to jounin level like Neji, right?" Her team nodded in the affirmative. "It turns out I have some different tests than Neji. They've been…I have to…" Neji reached out to grab her shoulder.

"What are they making you do that is so different from my exam?" Tenten took another deep breath.

"You know how every jounin-applicant has to undergo strict torture and interrogation training?" Neji shuddered at the thought.

He nodded, "That was the most extreme training I've ever been through. It was worth it in the end, but you remember what happened to me, right?" She nodded.

"Your coping mechanism turned out to be withdrawal. They couldn't snap you out of it, so they called Gai-sensei in a desperate attempt to bring you back to reality." Neji nodded, not at all embarrassed (he had actually been praised by Yamanaka Inoichi, who explained that that specific coping mechanism is almost impossible to break).

Gai nodded as well. "It took me damn near thirty-six hours to get through to him too. Is that what this is about, Tenten? Did they test you today?" Tenten shook her head.

"I haven't actually had the torture training yet. It's different for kunoichi. I've been having to…having to go through… through…" She trailed off.

"Through what, Tenten?" Lee asked soberly.

"Through…through…through _seduction_ training." She broke down crying again. "They've been teaching us how to ' _seduce guards'_ and use our ' _feminine wiles'_ to take advantage of the enemy and turn it around by subtly interrogating them while performing… _sex acts_. Today they were teaching us how to keep control of the situation so that it doesn't…doesn't end up…doesn't end in…"

"Rape," Neji finished for her. She nodded, catching his gaze.

"Why does it have to be like this?" She cupped her breasts in her hands. "Do _these_ really make me so different?! Is this all I am to this village? Just a piece of meat with no worth beyond," she shuddered to say it, " _Sex appeal!_ I don't want to do this anymore. Maybe I'm not fit to be a jounin…"

"Of course you are!" Lee cried in response. "You are the best at what you do. No one has aim like you. You are a powerful shinobi. You always have been."

Neji knelt down to be at eye level. "There is no reason why you should have to do things any differently than me. If I didn't have to go through this, why should you? You don't need this to be a jounin. You don't need this to be a strong shinobi."

Tenten laughed bitterly. "No, I don't need this to be a strong shinobi. I need this to be a strong _kunoichi_."

"Then to hell with being a kunoichi! You're not a ' _female_ shinobi.' You're a shinobi, and a damned good one at that! At least, that's how I always thought of you." Neji seemed to glance at Gai-sensei for support as he said, "Stop going to these classes. You don't need them. If they ask you about it during the exam itself, tell them you abstain from that part of the test. If they fail you for something so utterly stupid as seduction ability, then they'll have me to answer to."

"Me as well!" chimed in Lee. Gai-sensei nodded as if setting the decision in stone.

"And me! I will speak to Tsunade-sama as well."

Tenten spoke in a small voice, "But what if they're right? What if I _do_ need to know these… _techniques_? What if we're captured on a mission, and the only way to save us is to…" she swallowed thickly, " _seduce_ the guards?"

"Then I'll do it," Neji answered easily. Tenten was shocked still for a moment before she burst out laughing.

"I'm being perfectly serious, Tenten."

"I know," she replied between fits of laughter before finally calming down enough to look Neji in the eye and say, "You're _way_ prettier than me anyway." She started crying again, but this time with relief and happiness. "You guys are the best. I hated our team back when we were genin, but now, I don't think I could've handled any other team. You…never treated me any different."

Gai clasped a hand on her shoulder, "And we don't intend to change that." Neji was fishing something out of his bag, while Lee asked jubilantly about her torture response. Gai had never been more proud of his students—his kids—as they became adults.

"Ibiki-san said that I have an…interesting torture response. We're still not sure how to best utilize it, but my coping mechanism is…humor. I either burst out laughing or start making jokes in my head. It's probably easy to break, but we won't know until I'm tested, right?"

"Indeed, a very interesting coping mechanism," cut in Gai. "Yosh! I shall compose one thousand jokes for you to use—" Tenten held her hands up in an attempt to stop the madness before it started.

"That's ok! It…uh…it doesn't work like that! I have to make comedic associations on my own," she stated a bit too adamantly. "Besides, you've already given me plenty of comedic situations to think about over the years. I probably already have a thousand, so don't worry about me on that front, Gai-sensei." She gave a weak thumbs up to which she was tackled with another youthful hug. As usual, Gai was crying his manly tears shouting about what a good kid she was. Normally, it was a bit much for her, but today, she reveled in it.

"If you think anything related to me wearing the swan inner-tube to make yourself laugh while being interrogated I will _never_ forgive you," Neji commented from behind her.

"Oh shush, you! If it works, it works! What dare I ask are you doing over there anyway?" Neji continued rummaging through his bag.

"Aha! Found it." He handed Tenten a hair tie. "Here, we can use this to keep your hair out of the way. You owe me some training after all." Tenten just shrugged, allowing Neji to fix her hair.

"You know, when we were still in the academy, they used to separate the boys and girls so we could learn how to act like a 'normal woman' while undercover. After we graduated, I thought those days were over." She sighed. "Things would've been so much easier if I had just been born a boy."

"Maybe," Neji replied simply, "but I wouldn't change a thing about you…though you definitely need a haircut." She elbowed him playfully. He scoffed, "I still can't believe they wanted to teach you seduction on the sole basis that you're female. I can't imagine how hard it must've been. That kinda thing always made you sick.

"I'll start researching 'the art of seduction' on my own. I don't want you to ever think about this again. It's not your duty as a shinobi, and if it's the duty of a 'kunoichi,' then it looks like _I'm_ the team's 'kunoichi' now." Tenten relaxed, finally feeling free.

"After we train, I'm going to hug you and never let go." She wiped a relieved tear from her eye. "You're my best friend in the whole world. You know that right?" Neji closed his eyes and smiled.

"Yeah, I know." They shared a pleasant silence. "Hand me a kunai, would you?" Tenten handed him a kunai almost by muscle memory.

"Just what're you doing back there?" Not that she really cared. Hair was one of the least important things on her radar so to speak.

"Lke I said, you needed a haircut, so I gave you one. Now I just need to braid this and…there. It won't get in your way anymore." She turned, smiling. She took in Neji's appearance.

"You know, I wasn't kidding before. You really are…gorgeous. You've got to be the most beautiful person in the whole village. No one even comes close."

"And you're more chivalrous than Lee. You're the best weapons specialist in Konoha, and one of the only shinobi I'd have to go all out against in a fight."

The two smiled walking side-by-side towards their teammates. "If you want to study seduction, the first person you should ask is definitely Kakashi-sensei."

"I'd punch you if you weren't totally right. Oh, and if you use all the times I've been forced to cross-dress for laughs while being interrogated, I will hunt you down and _murder_ you." Tenten laughed.

"And you were so secure in your masculinity ten seconds ago. Why would I use that to make myself laugh? You look dead sexy in a dress. Not funny in the least. We need to figure out where Lee gets those costumes anyway. Not all pumps come in men's sizes. Really though, the only reason you get embarrassed while in a dress is because you think you look stupid?"

"Of course. Why else would I be embarrassed?" Tenten paused, honestly shocked. She shook her head. She should've known Neji wouldn't mind what he wore, as long as he looked good in it. She tackled him in a hug.

"I fucking love you!"

At times like this, Tenten finally felt comfortable in her own skin. She supposed that's what Team Gai had been about since the beginning.

 **Here are some endnotes!**

 **I referenced the Rock Lee Adventures spinoff (I know that's not actually what it's called, that's what I call it). This show is insane, but great if you love Team Gai, and I believe this manga/anime was secretly created for the sole purpose of getting Neji in a dress…and in one case, Gaara in a dress.**

 **Also, the torture resistance training has no basis in reality. If you read accounts of CIA agents that have been tortured or vice versa, most of them say that you can try to resist torture, but it eventually breaks even the toughest people, and a break doesn't always get you information you were looking for because by that point, the person you're torturing is either dead, close to dead, or insane.**

 **Well that was cheery. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. I had some trouble figuring out how to end this, and I'm still not entirely happy with it, but I did the best I could!**


End file.
